You may have seen us use “#worstclubbestguys” on an Instagram post. Rob, Jay, and I are setting out to build a community based on our personal experiences with stillbirth. We were all forced into the Worst Club, but we have met the Best Guys through this process.
Jay and Rob came into my life at the height of my darkness. They became my guardian angels. Neither was through navigating their grief (not that we ever will be), but the three of us were tied together by this terrible, life-altering experience.
No one chooses to join this terrible fraternity; it’s thrust upon you. We are saddened that you or your loved one has found themselves here, but the “Best Guys” are waiting. The “Best Guys” are this community. Sad Dads is a community where you are free to lurk, read, share, or connect without feeling judged. After we lost our daughters, we didn’t find a robust set of resources for dads enduring this pain. Therefore, we have spoken to hospitals, non-profits, and many of you about this; it is time to develop them.
What began as three dads shedding tears loudly and very publicly in bars, slowly transformed into tiny smiles, an occasional laugh, and temporary moments of joy. Temporary moments of joy slowly turned into renewed feelings of hope. Renewed feelings of hope helped restore a bit of normalcy.
I do not know what stage of the journey you or your loved one is in. Early on, I felt I would never again feel happiness. I couldn’t smile, couldn’t laugh; I sat and allowed hollow numbness to overtake my body. Rob and Jay slowly pulled me back. I am not sure how I would have navigated this journey without them.
Sad Dads Club is a community that picks you up during your lowest moments and lets you know brighter days are ahead. There is light at the end of the tunnel. Our goal is to help as many people as possible, but the beauty of Sad Dads is that we only need to help one person to succeed.
We are all members of the Worst Club in the world, but I can assure you, we have the Best Guys.