Isabelle (Chris)

July 21, 2018

Isabelle Lee, my heart, my angel.

My Izzy, it is impossible to put into words how much your mother and I love you.  We have loved you since the day we learned you were coming and will continue to do so forever.

I am not going to lie Izzy, this one hurts, it hurts a lot.  We couldn’t wait to meet you, and while we did not meet you in the way we wanted, we did, and will cherish every second you were in our arms.

Your mother and I are not totally sure how to take the next steps forward, but we will walk them for you.

Your family loves you; I know you saw all the love in that room.  You will always be our first born and we already miss you so much it hurts. 

That love will grow every day.  We love you from now until forever Izzy.

Love,

Your parents”

I became a Sad Dad on July 21, 2018.

What you read above was written in the hospital room as our stillborn daughter lay next to us.  This is the first and last time we got to hold her.  The hope of what could have been, the memories we were excited to create, the life we were eager to share, all gone in an instant.

I do not recall writing that letter, but I am glad I did.  That letter was read when we laid our daughter to rest, and every word of it remains true.

Sad Dads is not a community anyone wants to join, but if you find yourself here, please know you are safe.  Safe to share, safe to listen, safe to feel.

I will have much more to share about my personal journey as the Sad Dads Community takes shape.  No journey is the same, no journey is right or wrong, there is only YOUR journey.

Whatever brought you here today, I am sorry, but we hope you have found a home.

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